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Comments
Very dramatic. Well done. I like how you have framed the last text bubble differently. Felt like you highlighted the question well. Makes me want to turn to the next page.
@Novica & @Worlds_Edge
Thank you. I'm glad it's working for you!
@Griffin Avid
Thanks for the feedback - and yes, now that you mention it, there could be a little bit more space there. I'll fix it - fortunately, in Clip Studio, it's a quick job.
@Diomede
Thanks! I'm still learning the art of speech-bubbling, so I'm glad it worked out.
Hi all!
In discussion with BeeMKay, I'd like to give comic book artists an opportunity to come together and share the successes, inspirations (and challenges!) that they are having.
Bee regularly attends our more general community webinars, but we thought to create something special just for comic book/graphic novel artists!
In the webinar session you could....
It’s not mandatory to do the above, if you’d rather just hang with other digital artists in the room and meet like minded creatives, you’re welcome to do this as well!
You’ll have the option to share your own desktop in our webinar, so you can talk about your content or artwork in this way; dynamically being able to show your DAZ Studio scenes and/or renders.
The webinar is free entry:-
https://digitalartlive.com/event/daz-studio-comic-book-workshop/
Stay awesome, Bee. Looks like a fantastic community idea. The 14th falls in the middle of my trip to visit relatives. Might do everyone some good if I can escape to a DAL webinar for a couple of hours.
Wouldn't have my desktop though. 
Whether I can join in or not, I'll try to help promote the webinar among some folks who seem interested in similar topics. I posted a thread in the Carrara forum.
Just so you know - participants can join in on our webinars from PC, Mac, Linux, iOS or Android and on mobile devices.
I just wanted to share the latest pages of The 4th Wall. Things are progressing slow, but steady, and a special thanks goes to Trevor's consultive work.
That half-body is insane. Well done.
Clever use of that intersection plane ( I keep forgetting about that thing) and funny as heck,
I am dying to know what happens next! and great job on explaining the whole vertices blah blah blah stuff. Its understandable the way you put it so thank you!
@IceDragonArt ... well I have no update for the 4th Wall, but a new page for Demon Division:
The plot thickens!
@IceDragonArt Yes, it does. It's kind of frustrating that progess is so slow, and I sometimes wonder if there's too much exposition, but I kind of don't want to wait until page 150 and the years 2021 to give away important details about a lead character...
(Artwork above by Griffin, Tasos and Linwelly)
Hi all,
We had a succesful comic book workshop webinar with some good feedback from last time! Thanks for those attended.
So I've scheduled a new comic book event for Sunday 19th of August.
Amongst other subjects we could talk about:-
During this webinar session I would like to encourage you to:-
It’s not mandatory to do the above, if you’d rather just hang with other digital artists in the room and meet like minded creatives, you’re welcome to do this as well!
You’ll have the option to share your desktop in our webinar, so you can talk about your content or artwork in this way. This will be the easiest way to share your work.
You can register free to enter the webinar (standard registration), though if you’d like to have the webinar HD quality recording then use the premium registration.
This webinar is driven by YOU, the artist! The more artists that share a challenge or tip, then the more value that can be gained by other artists.
Really nice thread! :-) I Like it :-)
Thank you. :)
Braving the heat wave.... unfortunately, at 35°C in the appartment, rending is not advisable. So currently, my progress for the comic has been reduced to close to zero.
The image I'm currently cooking, in DS 4.11 BETA, is one of the students practicing her magic...
(In case you wonder, the wings are Morningstar wings, and I used Khory's https://www.daz3d.com/crystal-light-catchers-and-shader-presets-for-iray with some slight changes (added emission) on them for transparency...)
Those wings are pretty cool!
Yes that heat wave.. what I did was preparing everything for the render in the evening, and first thing in the morning get to the attic (I like to call it my studio) open all windows and hit the redner button. With that the render was done before the fresh moring breeze was gone.
When it's been TOO hot, I've opened the side panel of the pc and put a small fan blowing directly into the machine..
Homework from Griffin Avid's Webinar about Comic creation... I'm looking forwad to the Parts 3 and 4!
Well done, indeed. Thanks for sharing and doing such a great job.
I love your panels! Nice work.
Thanks! I had a lot of fun doing this homework, though it's a hip-shot and needs a lot of tuning, still.
I had SOOOO much to say that I couldn't do it on my mobile FB app so I'm reposting your stuff here and answering in full. Sorry if this is rude or going past some kind of protocol, but yeah, that's too much to type on a temporary post. so here goes......
Original Text:
As mentioned in today's webinar, I have a problem with my upcoming page 44 of Demon Division http://demondivision.thecomicseries.com/.
My question is this (please make up your mind about this part first, before you read the second part of my question):
- how does the relationship between the characters look to you after reading the three pages?
The second part:
- Duon thanks Thelma at the end of page 43. Her reaction in the last panel and the dialogue on the following page 44 should show a certain aspect of their relationship. What do you think that aspect is?
-
Which leads me to the problem:
The goal of the exchange was to show that Duon's emotional thanks makes Thelma uneasy, and that she's trying to push him out of a mood where he feels he needs to thank her.
I feel that the transition from page 43 to 44 doesn't do this and creates a sort of whiplash effect when reading both sides together. (It looked better in the script! ????)
Feedback, thoughts and suggestions are welcome. Page 44 is still WIP, page 43 is already published, but can be changed if neccessary. — feeling motivated.
As mentioned in today's webinar, I have a problem with my upcoming page 44 of Demon Division http://demondivision.thecomicseries.com/.
My question is this (please make up your mind about this part first, before you read the second part of my question):
- how does the relationship between the characters look to you after reading the three pages?
The second part:
- Duon thanks Thelma at the end of page 43. Her reaction in the last panel and the dialogue on the following page 44 should show a certain aspect of their relationship. What do you think that aspect is?
Which leads me to the problem:
The goal of the exchange was to show that Duon's emotional thanks makes Thelma uneasy, and that she's trying to push him out of a mood where he feels he needs to thank her.
I feel that the transition from page 43 to 44 doesn't do this and creates a sort of whiplash effect when reading both sides together. (It looked better in the script! ????)
Feedback, thoughts and suggestions are welcome. Page 44 is still WIP, page 43 is already published, but can be changed if neccessary. — feeling motivated.
I have a lot of thoughts so pardon me for rattling them off.
It looks like your story is going to be heavy with the soap-opera-type interactions and a large number of inter-related characters, all driving their own mini-emotional-arcs. I think the reader would be helped along by getting in the heads of a few characters. I wouldn't use thought balloons, but let a major character or two narrate a section and share their internal thoughts. The third page, from above, could begin with a narrated top section like: "I knew our relationship had changed, but I didn't expect to see her switch to being so neutral." or something like that- basically anything that indicates the core emotion that you want us to be in on.
Everything else is down to my personal preferences
The black gutters probably work better in lighter areas, but I had trouble at first figuring out the layout since the gutters blend in with the panels. Especially when you use nested panels and sit one panel inside another it becomes work to see what's going, where. Maybe switch to a dark grey instead of black on scenes with so many darker tones and lines.
I'd like to have started off with an internal establishing shot. Maybe he speaks first in the huge Academy Shot, like the balloon comes from one of the windows and her reply is from her vantage point in the office for the first back and forth exchange.
Also, there's no real interaction between the two of them. Much more expressive if he was leaning on the desk and they were face to face or at least directly looking at each other. There's a lot of face-frontal shots and it doesn't really cement their connection.
The one tilted camera shot (the largest view) is really goo. More of that. The camera could use some personality too. It's pretty much stays at head level and everything is straight on.
What's great is how you're using the balloons to lead the eyes around the page.
Looks good.
Thanks for the feedback, @Griffin_Avid.
I'm not sure I understand what you mean with "soap opera type of action".
It's true that there are a lot of characters, and I try to make those that have a name (they are addressed) not too cardboardish. There are several plot strands running parallel at the moment: Seth&the students, the students in class, Ruth, Simon, Dwayne's death. Technically, there are a few more strands that the reader isn't aware of yet and which will be introduced muuuuch later, when some of the current strands have been concluded.
The relationship between Duon and Thelma hasn't changed, she just wants to get him out of his current, emotionally vulnerable state into a more controlled one. (However, after the comments of the webinar, I decided that she's officially the joined secretary of the two (Seth&Duon), rather than simply Seth's secretary).
I need to talk to my co-author about the "Getting into a character's head", or maybe "narration" thing. I see how it would strengthen things and maybe even help the reader to be more involved with the story; I think a good chance to "switch narration style" would be after this segment, though I'd prefer a chapter break...
The voice from the building is definitely something that would have a good impact - and given all the issues with the three pages, I maybe just make some smaller fixes all three. Unfortunately, I don't have the time to do re-renders, due to work constrictions. I'd have to go into hiatus otherwise, as I'm barely ahead of posting as it is.
Thank you for the suggestions about the camera angles. I will definitely pay more attention to those.
The soap opera is a statemnent of how the characters will drive your story or the STORY is the point.
A sweeping saga with magic as a foundation. Drama!
Relationships.
Good stuff.
Ah, I see. I didn't know about that definition. Soap Opera is uaually used with negative meaning where I live. Learned something new. :-)
Yes, Division certainly has those Soap-Elements.
Also, I've had a couple of ideas in regards to the narration, and I think it would work by placing a "chapter break" before page 42, and revise the pages from there with the extra narration. I was thinking about old style MacGyver comments (the one from the 80s), and possibly Duon as the narrator, because he'd be one who'd add enough snark to pull it off.
But that's something I need to tak out with my co-author, division is her baby, too.
Hi Bee,
here are my twopence on this,
This feeling of Duon I often have and most in that last panel where he is looking at Thelma smiling, is that of false friendlyness. I'm not sure if that is your intention, but this guy just doesn't sit right with me. It might be because of that emotion control they have to do all the time, but there it looks like he just fakes the smile to get er off his heels.
Do we get the information about why her loyaltyies are distributed uneven or does she really only say it like that to nag him. It would be easier if at some point before we get to see some sort of information about that.
About the spoken words themselves, I don't mind her wording on the last panel of page 43 as it is. I would acutally rather change his words on the first panel on 44. In the moment it soulds like playful bater response, no sense of him feeling actually taken aback. So again if thats what you aim for its fine.
Some of the comments on the webinar were good points valuable for the duture, about the shoulder shot every now and then to see how they are positioned to each other.
I like griffins idea as well of the outside shot with the speech bubble coming from the window.
About the though bubbles or context I'm rather sceptical as many authors tend to explain too much with the thoughts, It's the old thing about show not tell. I was having that discussion with myself when I planned out my comic and decided agains and rather try to show the thoughts by showing emotions and giving room to single panels when there is need for the reader to fill in what is on the characters mind. Not sure I succeed with that though.
I like the flyer you made and I should have had that idea about the QR code, I'll probably even make some stickies to add one.
Thanks for the feedback, Linwelly. That's an interesting observation about Duon, and you are not too far off in your impression, except for that last smiling image. That really was meant to be a genuine smile/grin, but it also makes sense the other way around, that he was really not being completely honest, knowing what she was trying to do, and knowing that he's on the edge and won't come down until he has made sure things go on in safe ways.
Thelma - yes, the reason for her protection preference will be explained at a later time, and some things make a lot more sense when Seth&Duon's story/history gets more focus. Let me just say, Higgins calling Duon "traitor" is not because he jilted her on a date... and the "He's the Mage Elder, you his Paladin" Thelma mentioned is.. problematic, on many aspects, to put it mildly. I'm sorry to have to be very vague here at the time being. But the backstory will be revealed, and there's also Demon Division: Dwellers, that will go into details of Hades' demise.
Regarding the voiceover, my co-auther has said pretty much the same as you, and she added that it would put one person into the center of attention (whoever narrates). But Division is an ensemble story (like Star Trek); only all the pieces together make it work, it is not a one man or women show. So, we have agreed that we keep things as it is, narration-wise.
So... based on the feedback I have received so far, I made a few text changes yesterday... letting the impression stand as it is. I hope this works better now.