OT Long Live The Cowboy!!
cclesue
Posts: 420
A tough old cowboy from South Texas counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103 when he
died. He left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot crater where the crematorium used to be.
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LOL! I love this. Need more! Please!
In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance that ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students called Plato?"
"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test".
"Triple filter?"
"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student, let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first Filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the Filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you're not certain it's true?" The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.
Socrates continued. "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter - the Filter of usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really..."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True, nor Good, nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?" The man was defeated and ashamed.
This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. It also explains why he never found out that Plato was sleeping with his wife.
That's a good one. I like jokes!
We need a laugh every now and then. That's what makes life fun.
and is not unconnected with his hemlock night-cap.
Here is a link to get a random clean joke http://www.gcfl.net/randomfunny.php
you could find a joke like this http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=1095
though some of the jokes are not that funny.
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. After a few years, They're in debt. In order to keep the ranch, they need to buy a bull to breed.
The brunette takes their last $600 to go and buy a bull. She tells her sister, "When I get there, if I buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out and haul it home".
The brunette arrives. The man says he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she wants to send her sister a telegram. The telegraph operator explains, "It's just 99 cents a word".
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realises she can only send her sister one word. After thinking, she nods, and says, "I want to send her the word 'comfortable'".
The man shook his head. "How is she ever going to know you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word 'comfortable'?"
The brunette explained, "My sister's blonde. She'll read it slowly."
I like this one. Good thing I am not a blond.
A chicken walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve poultry."
The chicken replies, "That's OK. I only want a drink."
An atom tells another atom; "I think I've lost an electron".
Which the other replied,"How do you know?".
"I'm positive!"